i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The air taste purple.
Randomize
