lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
