if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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