I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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