My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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