I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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