so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
