And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
