i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
