If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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