Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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