Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
