he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
