In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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