Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
