somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
