It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
