Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
