i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
