It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
