This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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