Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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