I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
