return my video game
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
