Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
