i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
