i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
