nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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