i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
