Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
