so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
