he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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