I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
