I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
