So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
