He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
