god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
