you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
