Having a random hookup so left but love u
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
