You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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