My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
