after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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