she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is my gift to your gina
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
