you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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