I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
