just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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