thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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