he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
