I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
