remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
