We named our party play list daddy issues
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
